There ... I Said It!

In my opinion Cole has Autism.

As I've mentioned before, Cole has been identified to have a number of delays.  The most obvious are his verbal and social skills. He also has gross and fine motor delays which have slowly caught up as he's gotten older.  I could go into great detail into what all these delays are but that would be one VERY long post.

I've been aware of Cole's various issues from a very young age ... even before he turned one year old. I've always suspected these as Autism.  I've volunteered one or twice a week with preschoolers since I was a teenager and therefore knew that Cole wasn't "normal".  I have known several autistic kids and have a nephew with Autism and therefore I've done a lot of reading on the subject.  Lastly, this is what my gut has been telling me all along.  My gut has a good track record so I take that seriously.

Other than Cole's lack of conversational speech, none of his various delays are overly severe.  Most babies and toddlers have something quirky they tend to do.  In itself, being a picky eater, shy, quiet, strict to routine, has problems with transitioning between activities, overly cautious, repeats favourite movies, disliking loud noises, etc. are all normal.  However, put all of his little "quirks" together and they surely add up to something more.

Cole was part of an Early Intervention program and speech therapy for a few months before we moved across the country.  Here in our new home town we are just getting started once again.  Cole is currently in a program that gives us a worker who connects and gives parents of children with delays the resources that they need.  He has seen a pediatrician connected to our family doctor and is currently on a wait list for speech therapy and to see a pediatrician with our local Child Development Services.  This last appointment is the most important since this is the only person who can officially diagnose Cole with any disorder.  But right now we're at a stand still and playing the waiting game.

I have always been cautious putting a label on Cole when talking about him with others.  He HASN'T been diagnosed with any disorder, just identified to have delays.  Even though I think he has Autism, he has never been diagnosed as such.  But having a child with issues and no label is hard.  Not that he needs a label. I love him no matter what, and like any child, every child is different and has different needs and as a parent I will care for him.  At home we are comfortable and things function smoothly.  But in public is another story.  It's hard explaining him to people.  He's not tantruming because he's tired, bratty, or due to bad parenting.  Something either I know of, or don't know of is distressing him.  My son isn't being rude and ignoring your kid who is trying to be nice and talk to him, he just doesn't have conversations with people ... period.  We're not being over protective and not letting you feed our kid, its just that he won't take what you offer him anyway since he has a very self selective diet.  Etc., etc., etc.

You'd be amazed at the responses we've had when we have shared our suspicions.  Most people tell you that you're over reacting and that every child is different and develops at their own pace.  Or that just because he doesn't talk much, that doesn't mean he has other issues.  I know they mean well, but its sort of hard to take because it feel like they're saying we don't know our own child.  So I have become very cautious as to how I talk about Cole and to whom.

Recently I have had the opportunity to bring up my opinions with our family Pediatrician.  At our first appointment he spent a lot of time hearing our concerns and trying to get him to complete certain tasks.  He didn't think we were way out there but he wanted to make sure there weren't other factors.  He thought Cole would be extremely low on the spectrum and that most of his delays may just be observed as social quirks in the future.  He put in another referral to the Child Development center for us.  Last week I had a follow up appointment for a prescription Cole had.  The pediatrician was great at reviewing what our concerns were and observing Cole some more.  He called Cole a "mixed bag" referring to the fact that Cole does a lot of things that are both characteristic of autism but other things that are typically not, such as imaginary play and seeking interaction.  He seemed more open to the autism diagnosis.  Hearing agreement from a medical professional after several years feels awesome.

This week we had a regular appointment with Cole Infant Development worker.  During our conversation I shared the fact that I believed Cole was high functioning on the Autism spectrum.  She said she thought I was "spot on".  Our worker is awesome.  She has been doing this for years, has been very proactive for us, and Cole loves her.  She has never shared her opinion with us.  She is not certified to make any kind of diagnosis, only to refer us to the help we may need and give us options of things we can do to help Cole ourselves at home with his delays.  However, I am sure she has seen dozens of kids with many different problems, including Autism.  I'm sure in all her observing she has had her own opinions.  Sharing my opinion opened the door to her being able to share her own.  Once again it was great to hear someone confirm my suspicions.

So is Cole autistic?  No ... he hasn't been diagnosed as such.  Could he be Autistic ... quite possibly.  Could I be wrong ... that could be possible too.  I am not a specialist.  I am not qualified even in the least to label him as such.  But it was nice to hear recently that I may not be making this all up in my head.  One thing is for sure though ... I am a mother who knows her son and cares about him more than anyone else in this world. I will love him the way he is and I want him to be as successful as he can possibly be ... just like any other mother and child.  In that way were are "normal".